Chichi's letter to Tim...

June 22, 2005

Dear Tim,

Yesterday when Juliet told me that Madam Dormitorio wanted me to sign an excuse letter for you from CAT, I was in pain knowing what this means to you.

Tim, as a mom who loves you so dearly and who takes care of you since birth, I really want the best for you. Many times I felt so frustrated when I cannot give you a lot of things and permit you activities that you want. How I wish I can take away that epilepsy in just a whim. I wish you can have that leadership training you want. I know how much you can learn as much I have learned and enjoyed the one that I had. I understand how you must have felt. You are a young bright high school kid, eager to explore the world of possibilities. I wish you can ride a jeepney by yourself, swim by yourself, go places, drive, play basketball without the fear that fatigue may set in and puff up that seizure.

But these are just wishes which I am powerless to grant. God in His goodness and mercy, in loving kindness, in His wisdom has other plans for you. There is no fathom to the pain and hurt I feel every time you have a seizure. It is my prayer for you that this thorn will be gone forever. I may be powerless but I am not hopeless, Tim. We have a God who is merciful and gracious and wise. He knows your every seizure and frustration. He does not sleep at all. We may not understand what is happening. But He does. Someday we will exult Him as we will come to know that His decision is indeed wise. But for now, let us continue to trust Him.

When we will sign up the exemption letter, it is with due consideration to the people around you. Your teachers and your classmates want you to be exempted not because they are cruel but because they care so much about you. They are not confident of what they have to do when an attack comes and they have that fear that because of ignorance they could do something worse to you. We have to be considerate of them also.

Tim, Daddy and I are proud and have great admiration for you because you are not sulking in your condition. Please keep it up. As a family we will continue to pray and trust in the goodness of God. We will pray too for more opportunities for you to use your God given abilities without the physical jeopardy. We may not always be there but be assured of our love and support.

Tim, please continue to be the boy that you are – gentle, loving, generous, adventurous, determined, obedient and God-fearing. Continue your pursuit to know God and to do His will.

May He reward you soonest.

I love you,
Mommy